A Letter To Sergey Sargsyan on His Birthday
April 7, 2010 7 Comments
I found myself sitting and trying to put down some thoughts on this very hot April evening of 2052, but my grandchildren keep distracting me. Damn the global warming. So forgive this old fart if some of his thoughts come unfinished. I’m looking back at this day 41 years ago, when Sergey Sargsyan and I were not the comedy gurus we are today, but two starting comedians, with day jobs, sideburns and weird sense of humor, I can’t remember which one of us had the sideburns, but does it really matter now? We came up with a TV show idea and suddenly every channel in Armenia (that’s how Kharabagh was called back then) wanted to have us.
Next thing we knew we were advertising sunflower seeds, coffee, tea and iPhone 4Gs, we were hosting cooking shows, giving shows in Not So Little Armenia (formerly known as Los Angeles) and making Sergey and Narek toys, opening ArmComedy Burger and shooting in political campaign videos. The rushing rise to super stardom caused its controversies, and I don’t mean those Brazilian “actresses”. It was that day of 2025 when we looked into the mirror and saw what we’ve become…we were what we hated…that’s when we decided to take a break from comedy. We wrote books, made movies and even crossed the Turkish-Armenian border once or twice, though it was still closed.
In 2040 a guy named Mark Chapyan made a murder attempt on Sergey. He simply wanted to be famous. Luckily he was very stupid and did not know that you can’t kill a comedian with an angry looking teddy bear. You can kill a comedian by retelling those old jokes from that show…Yere…something.
But that was when we decided to return to comedy. Our reunion tour was a huge success, even Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II came to see that, unfortunately Prince Charles couldn’t make it. He died the year before that, never quite promoting to a King.
Young people don’t get our jokes anymore, our audience is those old people who used to read our website in 2009. But we still perform.
So why am I writing all this…I don’t know…excuse the old fart…
Well I guess I just wanted to wish Sergey a Happy 70th Anniversary. While the small republic of Guatemala celebrates this day as a national holiday after they adopted you as their Supreme being, I wish you realize that now that you are 70 you are not a teenager anymore and you must take it easy now, no more partying for three days in a row (I still can do it, cos I’m 69), I wish you to finally sell that few remaining copies of Color Of Pink City and I also wish you get that kidney donor you are looking for.
Sir Narek Markarian
P.S. I’m very lucky for meeting my Ilya Ilf, my Mko, my Stephen Fry, my Beavis etc, etc…Happy Birthday bro!