Armentel Director Commits Suicide Amid Orange Mobile Success

By Sergey

 

armentel evolution

Armentel revamps slogan to reaffirm target audience

Yerevan, Armenia Early Tuesday Yerevan Police announced in a special release that Armenia’s telephone operator, oldest in market, lost its director. Igor Klitko, 31, allegedly threw himself out of the Armentel penthouse apparently spurred by sweeping success of the new Orange Mobile operator entering the market.

Funeral was attended by an impressive crowd of all Armentel subscribers, all 39 of which came to pay final tribute to their boss. Colleagues were recalling life and times of the chief of Armentel, a.k.a. Bline who suffered great depression after embarking in the job early this year.

“He would stand near the window for hours,” says Aida Sahakyan, key customer relation specialist, “ and would look at the crowd in front of Orange outlet… and you could see his eyes swallowing tears and pain… I just hate Orange for what they did to us”.

To remind Beeline-branded Armentel company has been drawing public hatred since 1998 for poor customer service, hostile prices and lack of any friendly implication. Despite attempted reform in recent years, Armentel was still on top of most hated service companies in Armenia.

Some light on the suicide was shed by Klimko’s the brief note left by the director which read:

“I can’t take any more of the Orange success… Every new person in the crowd near their store stabs me in the back.. I don’t know why they hate us so much. I tried to change the company – we no longer (more than two years now) call our customers ‘assholes’ in verbal communications over the phone, we no longer prank them with hundreds of dollars of ‘surprise’ bills, and we even replaced ‘F##k the customers’ policy with moderate ‘Screw them’ program, but.. still they wanted more..”

armentel tragedy reaction

Armentel tragedy news spreads in downton Yerevan

The note had spots of tears and was written obviously in a hurry, some time between 10:00 and 11:00 am which coincided with peak of crowding in front of the Orange office outside.

Head of VivaCell Ralf Yirikyan condemned the suicude calling it “cheap PR act”. Yirikyan has also said: “We all have been going through heavy stress after Orange entrance into market. We are all upset about increasing competition and we all try to play tough cards, but dying.. it’s just not fair! He knew we wouldn’t do the same so he just played the old ‘dying’ trick”, complained Yirikyan.

Police commented on the suicide: “Every suicide is a big tragedy and hurts society spirit… but fortunately people really, really hated Armentel which helps us take this suicide with much, much less sadness than we normally do,” said police spokesman Antonyan. “I know some of the Armentel staff are sad these days… but, personally, I think they are overreacting.. Most likely this is simply a case of God actually paying attention to our prayers.”

One of the Armentel administrators shared emotions: “Changing the name of Armentel to Beeline didn’t help.. Unfortunately people managed to remember how much we suck,” said Artashes Sisatikyan from Beeline sales department. “Hopefully this tragedy will help people forget about how… how bad we are…”

Armentel declared mourning discounts for the next 40 days. All new subscribers can get a free flash card with a new mobile number and reduced portion of classic Armentel rudeness.

51 Responses to Armentel Director Commits Suicide Amid Orange Mobile Success

  1. Catherine says:

    Great!

  2. Catherine says:

    Wonderful😀
    Too funny

  3. Tatevik says:

    I liked Mr. Yirikyan’s speech…especially when he called the suicide “cheap PR act”and the part where Armentel changed his way of working…:))))!

  4. Tatevik says:

    and also forget to mention the last part…”reduced portion of classic Armentel rudeness”…

  5. Edgar says:

    Guys, this is your best text!🙂 Laughing like an idiot😀

  6. Armenian Bismarck Churchill says:

    Though I am using VIVA CELL . I didnt liked the story. Orange is not suggesting anything new. Though I ordered a phone number for me I refused to take the number as the custumer policy of Orange is very very this moment!

  7. armcomedy says:

    yea, i agree. I also hate when things are very, very.

  8. Khzrt says:

    ‘F##k the customers’ policy with moderate ‘Screw them’

    Hahahaha!

  9. Gags says:

    Guys! This story is really the next greatest one after the odnoklasnik one🙂

  10. Nane says:

    You are Narek Markaryan and Sergey Sargsyan playing with the reputation of respected companies , while being employed by organizations that really don’t welcome such behavior , I don’t think you have even a glimplse of intellectual ability to understand that at least you forever closed the doors for any kind of sponosrship assistance for your musical advertures from both biggest taxpayers, advertisers and donors of this country for your stupid and absolutely corrupt post. Your Orange is not doing any good for subscribers besides cheating them on tariffs and telling stupid lies in its offices and paying for such cheap stories

    • armcomedy says:

      Specific cases of me being cheated by Armentel…

      1) For several months I paid 12 000 for Internet and got Internet for 15 day a month. I Pay for 30-31 days, get 15 days. Clear? It’s the same as you pay for 1 kg of apples and get 0.5 kg. Does your overdeveloped intellect comprehend that? lets move on …
      2) Extract from my dialogue with customer service of Armentel “I tried to call you for 2 days and the line was off why did that happen” “Well that’s because we had so many call we decided to shut it down”
      3) If your mentality thinks it is OK to be offered extremely overpriced Internet with unbelievably high income margin, it really is your problem, I however find it wrong. For reference watch any news report on any TV channel regarding Internet prices. Their representatives mention exact income percentage…
      4) Orange cheated their customers too and believe it or not an article about that is in the works. I think once it is published you will be sorry for your accusations on ordered articles. Don’t measure everyone with your own values. However with Orange not being what it promised to be that still doesn’t make any of the other operators look any better. With Orange you still get less of the Soviet style bureaucracy…
      Overall you were highly unfair to us in your comment. If anything operators must thrive on what was written and upgrade their customer and technical services, and satisfy the people who pay them salaries. But i guess it will take another 100 years for Soviet management to understand that. it is much easier to blame on us, call us liars and say the article was ordered, blah blah blah. Your comments will no longer be welcome here unless they are fair. As for Armentel sponsorship, it is never a tragedy to be deprived of something that you never wanted in the first place. You can write another comment telling me I will never own an elephant. Oh well…

      • kostya says:

        Oh so you are so called “obizhnik ” decided to “pay – off ” in a way you did – not to write your compalints in a first hand to people who are obliged to deal with the comments. Nevertheless since we are now on a right track let me respond to you in public.
        a) Since I don’t know the reason why you got internet for 15 days a month , if it was your inability to configure your modem right or it was your choice of not using it or I assume it was a fault of the company – you should apply with the request and if it was the bad service or company’s mistake YOU WOULD HAVE GET PRICE OFF for this month , but civilized ways of communication problably is not your style .
        b) When calls to our service center are too many line sometimes goes out of order , probably operator tried to tell you this and you just heard what you wanted to hear, BUT if anyway operator told you so as you say – conversations of operators are also recorded if you are serviced improperly you call 4444 and operator ir getting punished and FIRED if complaints are repetitive.
        c. Regarding overpriced internet – did you ever compare price /quality of other operators . BUT if you think this is too expensive for you – you may always choose another provider – no need to fall into rethorics ..
        I shall continue in the next post ..

        • armcomedy says:

          Well Now there’s no doubt wehere you work too. Classic Armentel attitude
          Of course it was my fault…And the problem of the company is that you consider a dissatisfied customer “obizhnik” that’s the core of Vivacell and Orange sucess. Although i don’t hope youll understand that
          a) i did not configure my modem, i did not turn it on…thats why I had no Internet… makes sense, right…How did I get Internet on the other 15? Must’ve been elves and goblins, who configured the modem at night. But assuming it was a technical error, I really did what you also think I should’ve done. i called customer service. I was offered a “thank you for calling” “we work to make your connection better” and “we are very sorry” And it is not my problem that your operators don’t tell customers how to file a complaint and get reimbursed. Do you know who’s problem it is? Yours! But you Armentel prefer to write threatening comments under names Like vasya Puplkin, daring to say u will use your databases )))
          b) So do you honestly think that what you described is OK and no works should be done to correct that?
          c) NEWSFLASH Armenia has only 2 Internet importers who offer exactly the same price )))

          • kostya says:

            You are obizhnik because driven by the anger you try to make revenge by writing stupid dirty posts .
            Your fault that you didn’t tell company that you had interent only 15 days . of course . automated bill generation doesn’t have spiritual ability to understand your mental and in house problems . you would be suprised that actually world service practice is that customer is applying and company is responding .
            Compaint goes in writing to head of customer service and you will be surprised that many many people in this country daily ask questions , file complaints and get satisfied.
            Operator is a person who answers calls , they don’t have power to reduce your cost etc. If they are rude or stupid just I told you the way – call 4444 and you will get a feedback on waht happened with the operator that was rude to you .
            c . My dear boy – Armenia has 3 wholesale providers and several hundred end -customer providers . By the way the internet that first three wholesale providers have – have absolutely noting to do with you as end user.
            You still don’t catch the difference ?

          • armcomedy says:

            Please change the tone of your posts my dear boy.
            How is “calling customer service” = “you didn’t tell company”? I think it is EXACTLY informing you… No one thinks automated billing has mental powers

            so I’m afraid it’s you who still doesn’t catch the difference

      • kostya says:

        Also I am keeping records of our conversation If you don’t allow my replays public I will put it in the face book at miinimum with all comments and references.

        • kostya says:

          ok , sorry you did .. thank you

          • armcomedy says:

            As I said, comments that are fair and contain no direct demonstration of author’s inability to have a constructive dialogue will be deleted. in fact they all came from the same IP

        • armcomedy says:

          You must’ve noticed several other comments posted before, with people approving what was written in the article. Did Orange pay them to comment too? Or maybe they are nor satisfied with Armentel too?

          • kostya says:

            I did replay below. Let me know if I missed something .

          • kostya says:

            I spoke to people that were commenting your post before posting myself. some of are in my gtalk and my friends they apologized for laughing at this but explained to me the reasons and I don’t have problems with them.

      • kostya says:

        Since you are musician I forgive your incompetence in figuring out the difference between wholesale internet and end-customer product . If you have difficulty in understanding that 55 % of income is true for ALL internet providers including Arminco , Web , Netsys, Icon etc etc you would probably be someone who you are and not pretend that you are someone who already achieved the highest top and died. You are building your popularity on other persons creativity and using it to throw dirt to those who work hard to make life by themselves being real themselves , starting from bottom and caring for their own reputation.
        4. I would never want to read such dirty lie about any of my competitors, so question is not about Orange or anyone but about the person who doesn’t have brain to solve his problems in a civilized way ( you ) and person who never ever worked in a real business even once in his life , is childishly trying to thro[ dirt and abuse the company that is changing its way , that is investing hundreds of millions into the ground , which is spending thousands of dollars to change its destiny of Greek owned hated structure , opening offices , paying , and HAVING COURAGE TO SAY SORRY in Public, accept its past and still look in the future with optimism , grow its customer base, make benevolency , fund children education , fire all those who don\t want to change ! Keep free all military communication infrustructure and still have time to talk to you here , although you don’t deserve it at all . I invited you to come on behalf of armcomedy.com to our office and I will show you the real Armentel – how it is now from inside . Let me see what you will write after that . Without respect . Me .

        • armcomedy says:

          Obviously you know very little about me, so I will not even bother commenting the stuff about musicians and creativity.
          The things I obviously know about your company are: it’s terrible customer service and and unreliable technical service. I know it first hand. And there is no point for us making it up. So a good customer service manager would tell its operators to explain customer how to properly get reimbursement. A good customer service manager would instruct them on what is rude and what is not. A good customer service manager would simplify beurocracy. And good customer service manager would try to negotiate and be constructive. So far you did only the last one and we will consider your offer. thank you.

          • kostya says:

            I think you didn’t go to our offices for at least 6 months. If you did and you really got terrible service -let me know the name of the person .
            They are istructed on what is rude – beleive me every day before they start working. What about beurocracy – I didn’t get a real facts from you. beurocracy is not the way Beline is working – so please give facts or I still think you are ” obizhnik”

          • armcomedy says:

            Where exactly in my posts did I mention I care about what you think? If you think a dissatisfied customer is obizhnik, please continue. Whether I’m obizhnik or a dissatisfied customer Armentel is still the obizhER ))) Fact – i had no Internet even though I paid for it many times, fact – operator did not tell me how to get reimbursed even though I mentioned that, fact – writing applications on behalf of the subscriber every time u want to change speed connection/cancel service is bureaucracy.

            We are glad you are gradually changing.

          • kostya says:

            I am repeating obizhnik iz the customer that is taking revenge in a way you did in your post – don’t try to turn my words . What about customers – Every customer is valuable – even you . If you have questions and problems it is ou duty to help you – when you put your complaints in a direct way . You are repeatng your points again – I responded above to every of you facts . so please calm down and accept that you srewed up in your post and in our conversation. Ciao.

          • armcomedy says:

            And I am repeating, if you don’t need obizhniks don’t create them, they don’t just fall out of the sky. if you think writing experience-based sarcastc article is a form of obizhnikutyun, I obviously can’t change your high IQ mind

  11. Mark says:

    Chem kartsum irank pogen statel, bavakanin t’hatcha grats hamadzaynem vor petka nman baner chgrel.

  12. Карине says:

    Зря вы так остро воспринимаете – это South Park.

  13. kostya says:

    Aper, es angleren lav chem jogum mi hat targmanek .. es Orangi maman – 3 gisher kangentsi hert verjumel asin tsants chka .

  14. kostya says:

    I am so much older then you that I can call you “my dear boy “. And you have really low IQ.. goodbuy .. Waiting you in Armentel for a tour. See ya there .

    • armcomedy says:

      “Goodbuy” my friend and don’t pierce the sky with your IQ.
      If we take the tour can we write about it and about философия пчелки in particular?

      • kostya says:

        sure you can and i insist that you do ! But it is called Кодекс Этики ОАО Вымпелком . У пчелки жалко а у человека мозги. Только иногда их мало.

        • armcomedy says:

          Kostya, you never precisely addressed any of my points. The only thing I screwed was wasting time trying to explain our position to you.

          Anyway, we gladly accept your offer to take a tour. Please elaborate on how we should do that.

        • armcomedy says:

          философия пчелки sound a lot catchier than Кодекс Этики ОАО Вымпелком ))) IMO

    • Hamo says:

      Whohouuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!
      ay senc mi ban a stacvum erb hayetsi PRvum a r@sakan (i. e. sovetakan) h@ngerutuyn@…chidem el te vorn er aveli khnd@lu u hakabilaynakan` tgheqi hodvats@ te dra reakcian!!!
      ha, moraca asem vor hastat chem kartsum te duq uneq taneli spasarkum gone bajanordneri hamar…
      verjin 3.5 tarva @ntacqum (ha ha henc ed charabastik orvanic, 2005-i hiulisi 1ic sksac), kes amis araj arajinuverjin angam zangetsi Beeline, aveli konkret Avani ATS…chmanramsnem, bayc stipvats ei verjum goral, vor karoganayi verjacnel harcadrums…dranic heto el inch 4444. Bayc chneghveq, vochinch hay jogovurd@ xi senc tanjanqer a tesel?!🙂 mnac qaxghaqayinneri harcn el lucen u p@rc…

  15. SRK says:

    kostya if you really think that armentel is a good network, i’m really very sorry for you!! you do not see anything beyond your nose!!! you work in armentel or something like that, good for you,but be objective!!1 as Narek and Sergey say Armentel is really a network of losers!!! don’t blame them for truth!!!just one simple example: in ads armentel says that fleshes are free of charge, but today we entered and they told us that they cost 18000dr plus 1000dr for something else. FAIR??????????????

  16. armcomedy says:

    Some links for whoever thinks orange pays us money. Mekn el vaxtin grel er vor ishxanutyunnerin enq saponvum…

    http://armcomedy.com/2009/11/05/orange-offers-good-service-but-pisses-catholicos-off/
    http://armcomedy.com/2009/11/27/mobile/
    http://armcomedy.com/2009/11/12/orange/

    Mi gaxtniq el bacem, es hodvacy Chck Norris-n e patvirel http://armcomedy.com/2009/11/24/gor-vardanyan/

  17. SRK says:

    TEJ ER PAYQAR@.BAYC GLORY TO GOD KRQER@ HANDARTVECIN.

  18. Pingback: Armentel: Behind the Stripes « Armenian Comedy

  19. Pingback: Armenian Customer Service and the “Obizhnik” « Pomegranate Express

  20. Alik says:

    Armenrelistner jan inch kargin xaytarak exaq. Pastoren xekavarutyunnela armentelum senc bri ))) armcomedyn cher el mtacum vor nyuty esqan xndalu kdarna

  21. Anri says:

    Such jokes must be written down in Matenadaran’s manuscripts for illustrating armenian nowdays great think!!

  22. Pingback: Beeline Denies News of Director Suicide « Armenian Comedy

  23. Serjio Mark says:

    Mi xosqov. Armenians against Beeline. Inchqan shut aydqan lav. Heriq eghav bol eghav.

  24. janina says:

    your story uis much like as they say ”obijnik’ speech, shame on you if you don’t like anything just don’t use it any more if you see that you can’t do anything about it or join your forces and boykot or smth else but your article is very poor and funny at the same time

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: