Yerevan, Armenia – Early Tuesday Yerevan Police announced in a special release that Armenia’s telephone operator, oldest in market, lost its director. Igor Klitko, 31, allegedly threw himself out of the Armentel penthouse apparently spurred by sweeping success of the new Orange Mobile operator entering the market.
Funeral was attended by an impressive crowd of all Armentel subscribers, all 39 of which came to pay final tribute to their boss. Colleagues were recalling life and times of the chief of Armentel, a.k.a. Bline who suffered great depression after embarking in the job early this year.
“He would stand near the window for hours,” says Aida Sahakyan, key customer relation specialist, “ and would look at the crowd in front of Orange outlet… and you could see his eyes swallowing tears and pain… I just hate Orange for what they did to us”.
To remind Beeline-branded Armentel company has been drawing public hatred since 1998 for poor customer service, hostile prices and lack of any friendly implication. Despite attempted reform in recent years, Armentel was still on top of most hated service companies in Armenia.
Some light on the suicide was shed by Klimko’s the brief note left by the director which read:
“I can’t take any more of the Orange success… Every new person in the crowd near their store stabs me in the back.. I don’t know why they hate us so much. I tried to change the company – we no longer (more than two years now) call our customers ‘assholes’ in verbal communications over the phone, we no longer prank them with hundreds of dollars of ‘surprise’ bills, and we even replaced ‘F##k the customers’ policy with moderate ‘Screw them’ program, but.. still they wanted more..”
The note had spots of tears and was written obviously in a hurry, some time between 10:00 and 11:00 am which coincided with peak of crowding in front of the Orange office outside.
Head of VivaCell Ralf Yirikyan condemned the suicude calling it “cheap PR act”. Yirikyan has also said: “We all have been going through heavy stress after Orange entrance into market. We are all upset about increasing competition and we all try to play tough cards, but dying.. it’s just not fair! He knew we wouldn’t do the same so he just played the old ‘dying’ trick”, complained Yirikyan.
Police commented on the suicide: “Every suicide is a big tragedy and hurts society spirit… but fortunately people really, really hated Armentel which helps us take this suicide with much, much less sadness than we normally do,” said police spokesman Antonyan. “I know some of the Armentel staff are sad these days… but, personally, I think they are overreacting.. Most likely this is simply a case of God actually paying attention to our prayers.”
One of the Armentel administrators shared emotions: “Changing the name of Armentel to Beeline didn’t help.. Unfortunately people managed to remember how much we suck,” said Artashes Sisatikyan from Beeline sales department. “Hopefully this tragedy will help people forget about how… how bad we are…”
Armentel declared mourning discounts for the next 40 days. All new subscribers can get a free flash card with a new mobile number and reduced portion of classic Armentel rudeness.