Armenian Government Bans Open-Air Police Violence

By Sergey  

   

 

Brutality-friendly areas to be significantly reduced

  YEREVAN – Driven by the increasing displeasure of violence taking place in public areas, on Monday, the Government ruled to ban traditional violence in the cultural areas of downtown Yerevan. Opera square, Republic Square and Aram Khachaturyan museum among other areas will be targeted as violence free zones by the police and other law enforcers. Police officials are reluctant to embrace the new restriction but vow to follow the reform sharply.  

International organizations saluted the law as a “step in the right direction”. In Yerevan,  European Council representative Zelina  Clifshots stressed the need to further entrench democratic reforms: “Armenia is moving in the right direction. The European Council definitely frowns upon violence in public places. We hope that this new reform will succeed in keeping Yerevan’s public parks and recreational areas free of violence. We also commend the positive attitude of police officers who have committed to reducing the geographic scope of violence and are further taking all atrocities to specialized indoor facilities. “  

Hillary Clinton to Pronounce “Genocide” at Private Reception Near Yerevan

By Sergey

At State Department's claim, annual "Spelling Bee" contest in US replaced "Genocide" with "massacre" back in 2005

YEREVAN – US Secretary of State’s visit to Armenia has provoked political and social interest after a controversial information leak. Few days prior to the visit, White House sources leaked information that Secretary Clinton will pronounce “Genocide” at a private reception not far from Yerevan. Sources report very narrow circle of people have been invited to the pronunciation ceremony and refreshments are provided by the Dashnaks.

After Barack Obama’s second failed attempt at pronouncing the “G” word on April 24, Armenian community  of US, as well as local Armenian political elite plummeted into disappointment with US policy and consequently democratic values. The stand-off, however, is expected to melt as State Secretary Clinton visits South Caucasus in early July.

Armenia-Turkey Talks Frozen Pending New Soccer Games

By Sergey

Armenian president expresses hardcore disappointment over freeze of soccer process

YEREVAN – On late  Thursday President of Armenia Serj Sargsyan made public appearance on national TV to announce Armenian-Turkish relations in deadlock. President’s statement stressed that lingering pause in soccer matches between Armenian and Turkish teams is “main cause” that  triggered a crisis in bilateral rapprochement process.

“Fellow Armenians, over six months have passed, since Armenian and Turkish football players met last in a play field. Within this period Turkey has made no attempt to initiate new games and has turned down our invitations to host games locally,” reads Sargsyan’s address.

Earth Hour Organizers Honor Levon Ter-Petrosyan

by Narek

Armenia is the #1 environmentalist nation in the world

Sydney, Australia – First President of Armenia Levon Ter-Petrosyan was awarded a Lifetime Achievement Award by Earth Hour Foundation. Earth Hour is a global event organized by WWF (World Wildlife Fund) as a desperate attempt to please the Earth after centuries of careless pollution, and is held on the last Saturday of March annually, asking lazy-ass households and businesses to turn off their electricity for one hour to raise awareness towards the need to take action on climate change and also to simulate at least some kind of action. Though Earth Hour was conceived

Գալուստ Սահակյանը սահմանեց ռեկորդ` համարյա մեկ ամիս առանց բլթոցների

By Sergey

Հանրապետական պատգամավորը իրականացրեց անհնարինը

Երևան, Հայաստան – Երկուշաբթի երեկոյան տեղի ունեցավ արտահերթ կառավարության նիստ, որի ժամանակ վարչապետ Տիգրան Սարգսյանը պատվո շքանշան հանձնեց խորհրդարանական մեծամասնության ղեկավարին: Վարչապետը բարձր գնահատեց Սահակյանի նվաճումը և կոչ արեց նաև այլ խորհրդարանականներին հետևել Սահակյանի օրինակին:

Շքանշանի հանձնման արարողության ընթացքում Սարգսյանը նշեց. “Այսօր մենք տեսնում ենք, որ տարիների աշխատանքը սկսել է տալ իր արդյունքը: Խոստովանենք, որ նույնիսկ կառավարությունում քչերն էին հավատում, որ պարոն Սահակյանը կկարողանա հասնել նման արդյունքի: Պատկերացնում եք` գրեթե մեկ ամիս”, ասաց վարչապետը` ընկերաբար թփթփացնելով գործընկերոջ ուսին:

Dead Politicians

By Sergey

Գարեգին Բ-ն մտնում է հանրապետական

By Sergey

Նժդեհի գաղափարախոսությունը ստեղծում է ՀՀԿ անդամակցության ցանկացողների հերթեր

Երկուշաբթի առավոտյան Էջմիածնի մամլո ծառայությունը տարածեց հաղորդագրություն առ այն, որ ՆՍՕՏՏ Գարեգին Բ-ն /այսուհետ Գ. Բ./ հայտ է ներկայացրել հանրապետական կուսակցություն միանալու վերաբերյալ: Մամլո հաղորդագրության մեջ մասնավորապես ասված է` “Աստվածաբանական խորհրդի վերլուծության արդյունքում, մեր կառույցը գտել է լիարժեք ներդաշնակություն աստվածաշնչի և այն սկզբունքների հետ, որոնք դրված են ՀՀԿ-ի հիմքում: Ամեն:”

USAID-Armenia Launches New Comprehensive Anti-Asshole Program in Armenia

By Sergey

U.S. does not give up on democracy prospects in Armenia

 

 On Monday U.S. Embassy unveiled a new program that will help Armenian government in fight against assholes on grassroots level, as well as in government institutions. The new “Anti-asshole Action Project” (AAP) is sponsored by the United States Agency for International Development.

 USAID Mission Director introduced the new program: “Our new strategy is to combine all the anti-corruption, anti-trafficking and anti-fraud programs into a single comprehensive anti-asshole initiative to address Armenia’s main challenge in democratic development. This program is expected to help Armenia follow its international commitment to combat assholes.”

Behind The Signing

by Narek

English

Հայերեն

English

Հայերեն

Council of Europe Pushes Minorities into Armenian Parliament

By Sergey

European envoyee explains the benefit of women drivers in parliament

Armenian parliament is to provide seats for minorities including Kurds, Russians, Yezdis, gays, women-drivers and idiots. The bill was prompted by special representative of European Council Silvia Zehe who reminded Armenian legislators of their commitments to Europe.

“If Armenia truly wants to be a part of Europe, you need to get your Parliament to represent all social groups of the society. The traffic signs and so-called zebras, for one thing, are not arranged in a cute, sparkly manner obviously due to under-representation of women drivers,” stated Zehe.